A child is having a fit of anger, or a temper tantrum is not uncommon. We have seen it happen everywhere, from the shopping centre to theatres. Kids either do it when they are asked to do something they don’t want to do or when they don’t get what they want. When this happens, parents generally try and shush them with whatever solution works best. However, it’s important to teach them how to cope with this anger instead. If you teach them this now, they will be able to cope with these emotions better as an adult. Give them the tools to deal with anger healthily and self-assess themselves. Here are some ways for you to deal with your child’s anger.
Understand how they calm down
All children generally have a different way and time to get calm. Understand that of your child and give them space if needed. Sometimes after an overload of emotions, if you leave them alone, they will calm down.
Be firm and don’t give in to their tantrums
Teach that that when it comes to showing anger, there are some boundaries. Tell them this and be firm on it. Do this in the firmest way possible when their tantrums are crossing these boundaries. Also, don’t give in and give them what they want. It will only make them repeat their tantrums to get other things.
Teach them the emotional vocabulary
Teach them an emotional vocabulary to vent their anger; to say it in words. You can enforce words like frustrating, sad and angry to help them use words in these situations. Normalise it for them by validating their emotions in words. Teach them to do the same with themselves and others.
Teach them the art of Self-talk
You can teach your child how to talk to themselves positively and calm down. Sentences like ‘I can get through this’ or ‘Just take a deep breath’ work great. If they can learn to apply this to themselves, it will cut down on a lot of anger or tantrums. Encourage them to learn this so that they can cope with these emotions even when you’re not there.
Appreciate their efforts
If your child does not give in to his/her anger and is successful in handling it, tell them that you appreciated it. Praise your child when they talk through their negative emotions instead of showing them the other way. It makes them realise that you see their good work. And when they feel like that, they might continue on the good behaviour.
Talk to them like adults
Children feel the same emotions as adults. So, talk to them like that. They might in the midst of a tantrum end up telling you why they are behaving like that. If you can have a conversation when they are having an episode, it might calm them.
Talk about it afterwards
Talk about the episode or the negative emotions afterwards. Explain to them what they were feeling in that situation and why it’s normal. You will also be able to teach them how to cope with them next time. It will create a good cycle and a meaningful learning experience for your child.
These were a few ways which could help get your child’s anger in control. Remember these and help your child incorporate it so that your child can live a happier life.